11/28/2007

Separation...

I don’t have time to blog anymore. I wish I did but I don’t. I don’t even have time to read or reflect, or even surf! :Sob: My day begins with the leftovers of the day before, and I can never seem to catch up. And that’s only after the first kid, sheesh. What no one warns you about is the aftermath – pregnancy is the easy part! That’s right. While pregnant you still have a free will – the will to sit on your arse if you please.

No siree, my day begins with fresh kicks in my ribs each morning. No matter what corner of the massive King Size Bed I move to – she finds me. She can’t crawl or walk yet she finds me. She kicks until I give up and give in. From that moment until the time she goes to bed at night, I have no time to myself. My world revolves around her needs.

As much as I sometimes want to hit myself with a frying pan (repeatedly), the minute I am away from her, a feeling of sadness enters my heart. As much as she annoys the crap out of me sometime, I just can’t picture my life without her. My life does not function without this person.

This ‘fear of separation’ is my biggest fear.

And this fear has clarified some higher truths for me…

1. Love is not just the result of our selfish desires but is sometimes indicative of something bigger than ourselves. Love is Divine. Love points to God.
2. Separation from the Divine, Our Creator, Our Lord, is what hell must be like.
3. I better start living my life in a way where Im not separated from that which I love…

May Allah swt remember us witho those who are meant to be remembered. Ameen.