What do you emanate to the world?

A Sun’s inherent quality is that it gives of light. If I hid the sun underneath my bed it would still brighten up the entire room. If I placed a rose in the dirtiest bathroom in the world, it would still fill its surroundings with its fragrance. These objects carry something inherent in them that make them give off a ‘certain something,’ no matter what extraneous factors are placed on them.

So what is my inherent quality? How does my existence make someone else’s life just a little bit easier?

The first three months of my pregnancy put me into a new and unfamiliar territory. I unleashed a monster that lurked beneath the surface for many years yet was restrained for reasons still unknown to me. For the first time in my life, I felt physically, hormonally, and emotionally imbalanced. I was depressed, tired, and cranky. Mind you, I’ve been cranky before but not like this. I’ve been sick before but not like this. Not to toot my own horn but I’d never lost clarity until this moment in time. No matter what I’ve been through I’ve always firmly believed that everything in my life was significant and meaningful. Every moment was meant to produce something meaningful. But something happened during this period and I became a different person.

I don’t want to forget this person because it showed me; I can be something more, something better. This person reminded me that we’re all here to tell a story and that I want to be an excellent storyteller (someday) (like Brother Irving!). That we’re all here to emanate something and I want to emanate something beautiful to the world. I learned that my existence not only affects other people but also my fetus. I learned to be a little un-selfish. (Still working on it, it is very hard to not just think about myself).