and purge.

Having lost another year in this transitory world, i still find myself as 'clueless' as a two year old whose about to stick her fingers in an electric socket. When i was 19 (and quite full of myself) i thought by the time i was 24 i would be done with education and married with kids. While I’ve finished my degree on time i didn’t get married until last year and i certainly don’t planning on having kids until I can take care of a plant at least.

From as long as i can remember, i was a traveler. i knew i had to get from destination A to destination B because a) it was expected of me and b) because failure was not an option.

But what happens when all sorts of external pressure cease to exist?

Laziness, followed by boredom, with a healthy dose of self-pity, reminiscent of ingratitude towards a Higher Order. A false sense of comfort that’s heedless of things to come. We bitch and moan about life's trials day by day, but what if there were no trials --conflicts that let us exercise our "Humanity," and occasionally, “Spirituality?”

As we age, we spend more and more time minimizing conflict instead of attuning ourselves to the Wind of God, to Vicissitude of Time -- to Life itself. We’re taught from an early age, to stay unhappy until everything is in place; a contradiction that makes most people miserable for the duration of their stay here. (Earth, duh?)

Looking back at life, my proudest moments, are not of acquiring a piece of paper from a university, or of getting married to person I can truly respect, or even educating young boys in the fine art of ‘sissidom,” but of -- conflicts that have refined my understanding of the Higher Order. Conflicts that have taught me to appreciate every little moment of happiness, love, and calmness for they are Divine Gifts that in the scheme of life are really the most valuable possessions.